Transcript

(00:00):

Grammatical accuracy and communication are not the same thing, and thinking that they are can actually hold you back. I'm Michelle, a language and communications trainer, and today I want to talk about something I've seen come up again and again with professionals using English in the workplace. Now, before we dive in, a quick note on the term non-native English speaker or non-native speaker of any language, really, I use this phrase because today it's one that is commonly said, but I want to be clear, it's an oversimplification. Language identity is much more complex than a native non-native binary. So for today's episode, when I say non-native, I mean someone who didn't grow up using English as part of their early education or home life. I do not mean someone who is not born inside of native speaking countries like the US, the UK, et cetera. I just want to be very clear that this term is very limiting.

(01:13)
And for many people who were not born in these countries, they've needed to carry this term because others in society choose to see them in this way. I will do a future episode on the problems we have inside of the language industry and the irony of having imperfect terms. But I want to let you know that when I say non-native, I mean those who identify as non-native and not those who simply fall inside of the complex mix that is the larger English speaking world. Let's start with a hard truth. You can have excellent grammar and still not be an effective communicator. Surprised. That's because communication is about connection, clarity, and understanding. Not how well you complete an academic exercise to perfection. And I really want to emphasize this because while there are a few people I can name in the industry now who are starting to make this more and more clear, this deal is a predominant issue for many people who came out of traditional language education or systems.

(02:28)
I work with clients every day who have already spent years improving their grammar. They've mastered conditionals, they know their tenses, and they even understand article usage better than most native speakers truthfully. And yet they still feel invisible in meetings, misunderstood in emails or unsure during presentations. And that's because the workplace, the real workplace, not the simulated one out of textbooks, the real life working world does not reward correctness or perfection for grammar or advanced vocabulary, which is a conversation we're going to get into in the future. It rewards clarity, confidence, cultural fluency, even relative to the needs of the organization or team, being able to do what you need to do in the language that is required with the tools that you have, not how high your score is or even what your language level is when looking at grammar. Now, this is not to say that grammar is not important, and I say this again and again.

(03:43)
I do train with those who work with me one-on-one. We work on grammar, but it is not the only thing that we work on. This is why I make a distinction between language training and communications training, because while they do overlap, they are not the same. So let's break it down. When I focus on language, I'm helping clients refine sentence structure, vocabulary range, pronunciation, listening, comprehension, and yes, of course this includes classical grammar like tenses, conditionals, articles, prepositions, et cetera. When I focus on communication, I'm helping them navigate tone, assertiveness, managing conflict or interruptions, negotiation, reading between the lines, power dynamics in the workplace, and adaptability, knowing when to be flexible, when to be direct based on their specific environmental conditions, based on their industry, their personality characteristics and their professional goals. And that's why I say I am a language and communications trainer. I do not choose, I work at the intersection of those two because in the workplace as a non-native speaker, but as a human, you can't separate them the way you say something and the way someone receives it both matter and they don't always match up.

(05:25)
And while this is true for all people in the workplace, there is an additional challenge presented before non-native speakers because they were not raised or educated inside of the language. They have an additional hurdle to overcome when thinking about how this complex set of variables work together. Now let's talk about the workplace specifically. Why is it so important to think about the workplace, not just professionalism, but the place of work? Well, that's because in the workplace there are unspoken rules. And by the way, many people work online now. So when I say workplace, I don't mean the literal office, I mean the environment in which people are working from all over the world, your working world. And these unspoken rules are ones that people have to navigate no matter what their native language is. We'll touch on a few things across these different episodes, but truth be told, there is a performance aspect to communication that goes beyond grammar.

(06:40)
And it's something that native speakers have to contend with as well because in many places you're expected to sound concise but friendly, confident, but not arrogant, direct, but polite. And these expectations are not taught, at least not in a comprehensive enough way in most standard business English or professional English classes. And speaking of, let's address a question I hear a lot, should I even bother with business English classes? And I first want to break down what business English is for many people because working as a professional isn't a level, it's a context and it's one that many people enter, especially if you come from immigration, migration and whatnot. You enter the professional working world often without an advanced language level. So thinking of it as a linear hierarchy really does not work and it is completely inappropriate. In my opinion. The working world is a dynamic high stake space where communication happens under pressure between people across cultures, and now with technology across countries, depending on your career path and the conditions in your personal life, you can absolutely be a working professional for decades without ever reaching a language level that's labeled as advanced.

(08:20)
Because in addition to the fact that a workplace is a context, not a level, your subject matter expertise does not depend on your language score. I'm going to say that again. Your subject matter expertise, your technical knowledge, all of the skills that you were hired in to do and to use, do not depend on your language level or score. That does not mean that others will not evaluate you as such. Okay? And that's something we'll get into in future episodes, but your insight as a human, your impact as an individual, your ability to contribute to a team, none of that is solely determined by how perfectly you conjugate verbs or whether your vocabulary is as native like as possible. And I need more people in this space to understand that because unlike the classroom, real life workplaces do not operate in a hierarchy. There is no basic or advanced when it comes to what you need specific to your position in your company, on your team.

(09:45)
What's advanced for one person might be totally unnecessary for someone else based on the context of their role, their interactions, and the expectations of their workplace. So no, it is not appropriate to use traditional measures of advanced English to be a high functioning professional. But like I said, working on communication is often extremely important. If the working language is not your native language, because these are the unspoken rules of the working world, how you explain what you know, not only how you talk to people, but how you advocate for yourself, your ideas, your contributions, how you showcase your expertise in a way that feels proportional to what you believe you contribute. That is where most people feel this gap, this gap between what they have inside and what they can express outside. And that's why working on communication in conjunction with language intentionally, strategically can absolutely help you unlock new levels of confidence, clarity, and effectiveness in your specific role.

(11:14)
Language proficiency tests can tell you how well you perform under academic conditions, but they do not measure how clearly you advocate for yourself, your ideas, and for a specific project in a meeting. They don't capture how well you adapt your tone when writing to different colleagues or different stakeholders in the workplace, they don't assess your ability to read the room or shift your delivery mid presentation when something is clearly not landing the way you intend. So let's backtrack. When people ask me, should I take a business English course after I finish advanced English, I often say, that is the wrong question. I hope you're also seeing that this is what we were building towards, rather than seeing it like I'm going to have B one then B two, then business. Stop all of that right now, please, and instead ask yourself what communication challenges am I currently facing at work?

(12:18)
And this is so important for people who are already working. If you are thinking that you need to wait to be advanced in order to start working on business communication, that is absolutely the wrong. I never say things are wrong unless they're wrong. That is not the right question to be asking. We're not measuring the same things. So ask yourself, what challenges in communication, interpersonal communication, am I currently facing right now at work? And then ask yourself, what kind of support do I need to handle those better? What can I bring in to help me communicate with more confidence and clarity in a way that my inner and outer worlds can be more proportional? Those are the questions to be asking. It's not about leveling up your English by traditional standards. It's about leveling up how you use the language in the spaces where it often matters most.

(13:25)
Remember, working as a professional is not the same as passing a language test. It is not a level. It is a context. It is a dynamic high stakes environment where communication depends on so many more things than just grammatical accuracy. Now, you might be wondering why, how come my business English teachers didn't tell me this before? Well, okay, I have my personal opinions on why, but I want to remind you that language doesn't exist in a vacuum. It exists in conversations, in decisions, in deadlines, in meetings, in team messages in 1000 moments or more where clarity, nuance, or tone makes all the difference. And that raises another thing. Business English is not a one size fits all solution. Like many, many, many classroom based approaches. It will not capture the nuances of your real life situation because what makes a professional work situation or environment varies in infinite ways.

(14:44)
It's because even across the same industry, your situation changes based on your company, based on your team, based on who you have to talk to based on the types of work that you do. We aren't robots going into offices sitting at our cubes. I know it feels like that sometimes, but we are not those when it comes to communicating with each other. So business English might give you a few formal expressions or email templates, and that's really good. That's a start at least, but it will not teach you how to navigate unspoken expectations. Understand the complexity of team dynamics, adjust, moderate your expression, your tone, your delivery based on who you're talking to, and it will not, and it is not the gold standard for how to conduct yourself in the workplace. And if you're using business English as a guide and it's not working out like how it happens for most people, I would say this is why.

(15:53)
It does not mean that it is not useful. It means that you have to understand how to use it. How can you incorporate what you're learning in your business English classes and make the connection to your own situation? Also, remember that not everyone speaks English the same way. Even with perfect grammar, many professionals still face moments where they're misunderstood and it's not because their English was wrong, right? Communication problems happen even amongst native speakers, and you can understand this because everyone is a native speaker of at least one language, right? If you think about the amount of times that you've had miscommunication with someone, and it was not due to the fact that you spoke different native languages, be very careful always pinning your challenges on language, when in fact it's communication. So if you've been told to just improve your grammar or just be better at the language, change your accent, change the way that you say things, match what native speakers do, and everything will fall into place.

(17:01)
This is an outdated concept and it is one that is creating so many more obstacles than good in this world. This is my personal opinion. I need to tell all of the people who have been told this that you are not broken, okay? You are not somehow inferior because you weren't born into a language, but you are navigating a much more complex environment. You're navigating systems that others do not need to. It's why I will come on here and speak a little bit more about the work that I do, my training approach and the shift I hope will happen as time passes in the world, no matter where you're listening from, how you're choosing to approach your learning and growth, just remember that language and communications training has to be about more than just accuracy or conformity. It has to be about you. Please just remember that it has to be you, your goals, your context, your voice.

(18:11)
Thank you for tuning into our first real solo episode of WeCultivate:ThePod. I will be sharing more episodes like this looking at the parts of communication. People don't always talk about pulling from my work as a trainer, my own experiences navigating different spaces and the patterns I see again and again, no matter the field. If this resonates with you, please do share this episode or any of the previous episodes I've already published on the pod. I am so ecstatic to be opening up this piece of it. Make sure you get connected with me. Feel free to drop me a message on social media or directly on my website. I'm Michelle, Founder of WeCultivate, Host of WeCultivate:ThePod, and I will see you next time.

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Transcript

(00:06):
Hi there, and welcome back to We Cultivate the Pod. I'm your host, Michelle, and today we're diving into something I know a lot of you experience, but may not talk about enough communication fatigue, that invisible draining feeling when using a specific language for the workplace like English feels like it's taking so much more out of you than it should, whether it's a meeting, writing an email, or just talking with colleagues. You may not even realize how much emotional and cognitive energy is being spent just to keep up. So in today's episode, we'll unpack why operating in a second, third, or even fourth or more language for some can be so exhausting and why high, high-functioning professionals who are at times even quite senior in their careers, often feel mentally drained when nothing went wrong, and what small shifts you can do to reduce burnout and increase clarity in your daily communication.

(Music)

(01:18)
Welcome to we Cultivate the Pod. This is the second of a new series of solo episodes that I will do. And before we get started, I want to jump in and say that we are currently in a world, especially the social media world, where many people enjoy talking about introversion versus extroversion, and the psych degree in me wants to scream every time I see it used in the wrong way or in the non-technically compliant way we'll say. But communication fatigue is not just based on your personality type or your perceived personality type. Okay? So let's get that very, very straight. What we're talking about today is the emotional and cognitive load of operating in a language that is not one you were born into. So I work with non-native English speakers. Again, I've given a caveat for why I feel that term is imperfect many times, but that's for a future episode.

(02:21)
But for all intents and purposes, whenever I say English, what I mean is just the working language. Now, if you are listening to this episode and English is not your working language, just substitute it with whatever language you do work in. Okay? So these concepts transcend language because they're really about systems. They're about structures. They're about how we as humans communicate in social ways with each other. So I'll focus the bulk of my material on English, but just know you can adapt it based on what you need. So first off, the emotional and cognitive load of speaking English at work when it's not your first language. This is something that's not talked about enough, but is very, very real. We often think of communication as just words coming out of our mouths and getting kind of typed and consolidated into an email, but we don't think about how much mental energy is involved.

(03:27)
Now, if you're listening to this and you're like, I think about all the mental energy that's involved, I do know because I live it. Okay, fantastic. We will talk about strategies, but first off, I will remind you that many people, even if they've learned another language, if they are not using that language in their everyday lives, if they're not needing to navigate the complexities of the business world or the professional world in that language, they may not completely understand how taxing and how tiring it actually is. So for instance, when English isn't your first language, it's not just a vocabulary issue. We're not just trying to find words. It's sort of having this mode that you have to turn on all the time and how hyper aware you have to be of your choices. Word, choice, tone, structure, even nonverbal communication. Because in different spaces, things that seem normal and natural to you could be read differently to your friends, coworkers, colleagues, bosses, whoever else is around.

(04:34)
And that takes a ton of energy. And it's energy that doesn't show up when you give a report or when you write an email because it's invisible. It's a load that's invisible that adds up over time. And it's not just about you speaking the language, right? You speaking English. It's also about how you're constantly monitoring how you're being perceived, whether your words are landing the way you want, all of this additional energy that needs to go out because you may not be sure if what you're doing is matching what you hope to do. So there's this disconnect sometimes, or rather, there is this space of feeling unsure. Confidence will be in a future episode. Okay, let's do one concept at a time. But I do think confidence is sometimes misunderstood as how we're projecting and not so much whether or not internally we can connect our intentions with our behavior.

(05:44)
So I work with many, we'll call them high functioning professionals. That's not a bad term, okay? It's really, really great. But they're doing training with me because they often say things like, well, I did everything. I've had a decades long career where I know how to act. I know what to do, I know what's expected, but I still feel like there's this disconnect. I feel like I'm not getting through to the other side. Whatever message I want, whatever message I want is not landing on the other side in the way that I intend. Many people ask me to diagnose them, actually not diagnose medically, but diagnose how they use their language because they want a different set of eyes on their behavior. What am I missing? And also, why am I so exhausted all the time? Why am I so tired? And I would say, again, if you have a little bit of self-awareness, if at a certain point you've connected this yourself and you think, yeah, I am obviously tired because I have to be in this mode, this other language mode all the time, I would add on the fact that you are also needing to carry the monitoring aspect.

(07:02)
So most people, if they're native speakers, they do have to also monitor because the professional world is complex and we always have to be aware of different things. This is also oftentimes leads us into the discussion of soft skills, potentially leadership skills, other sorts of skill sets, but you have the additional burden of needing to always check in with yourself. Is it correct? Is it what I'm supposed to do? Is it the way that it's supposed to go? And if it's an unprecedented situation, which how many unprecedented situations are there in the workplace? So many, right? Hundreds, thousands, of course you're going to be exhausted. Normally, people are already exhausted when dealing with new situations and new conditions, but you again have to take on this additional burden of it not being this world that you were already born into or educated inside. The reason I say educated is because, not in the classroom, but for those who were native speakers, you often learn social and behavioral cues inside of academic settings like colleges and universities.

(08:17)
That sort of helps give you at least a little bit of information when you go do your first internship. I went to do my first internship when I was between high school. Oh my God, it took me a second between high school and college. I was thinking of it like, wow, this is a crazy world. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how I'm acting. I don't know how to behave. But because I got to experience that early, I then was able to understand how to conduct myself in different ways, integrate that with what I was learning in the classroom, et cetera. Many times, especially if you are based in a country where English is not the official working language and you're needing to use it for work, this is another ask, right? This is another layer that you have to carry that other people don't.(09:09)And already it's tough already. It's tough for people already inside of the regular business world. We add on this other component when English is not your native language, so all of your emotional and cognitive effort, it doesn't show up in a tangible way. We can't be measuring this in a KPI format. We can't be talking about it like, well, how much English did you use? Or How much effort did you put into monitoring the situation around you? How much data did you collect inside of the workplace? Today, we don't measure that in any sort of metrics-based way. And for that reason, it often goes unnoticed. You might be exhausted and not at your best, and that impacts the way that you perform. And then a coworker who is probably not the nicest person in the world, might use that as a time to point out your failures

(10:10)
I mean, it's very, very dog eats dog, right? In the business world, many times it is. And so all of this is draining. Then now you need to deal with the new coworker, the new colleague who is being a jerk, trying to keep it BC here, trying to keep it at least a little bit diplomatic. And that's frustrating, right? Because your communication might be spot on. But if you are not aware of how much effort you are constantly putting in to monitor, check, assess, evaluate how you're coming across, how to adapt for different situations, different cultural norms, but beyond that, even different people, how to choose the right words for a high stakes meeting, this is stuff that leaves you drained at the end of the workday. It can be really, really exciting. It could be really interesting. I think all of us understand when it's new and it's fun, but also it can be tiring

(11:09)
So I don't mean to say that it's only those who have toxic work environments. That's a whole other level of exhaustion, by the way. I mean to say that it's a lot of information you have to deal with, and specifically this type of information, your native speaking colleagues do not. And that's why I think a common refrain that I hear is that it feels like you're constantly on, right? The mode has to be on. It's not like a test where you can turn it on, turn it off. So turn it on when you enter the classroom, do the exam, and then turn it off once you leave. When you are actually living this, and I know this not for English, but in other languages, I know what it's like to need to be on all the time to feel the real time high pressure, always evolving, always shifting landscape of communication and interpersonal associations.

(12:11)
And it's no wonder that even after a good day, you can feel exhausted and disconnected. And I think for many people, especially those who have always felt that not speaking in their native tongue means not being allowed to own a language. I think that adds a level and a layer of heaviness that contributes to the feeling of exhaustion after work, because your brain is doing everything possible. And that brings me to something I really want to take another moment to address the invisible labor involved in adapting to dominant language norms. We don't always recognize how much work it takes to adjust to all the unspoken rules of communication in the workplace. Last episode, we talked about how there is no template for this, how all the nuances of culture, expectations, hierarchy, power, et cetera, you might not even be fully aware of the entire picture, but you know, have to navigate it every single day.

(13:27)
So you're juggling all these things and you're having to do them in addition to your normal work. That's the craziest part. If you align yourself to the wrong target, if you believe that it's a grammar issue and it's not a communication issue or something else, that you then put more energy, you're already exhausted, you're putting more energy into a place that isn't going to serve you or isn't going to help. You're like a ping pong or you're kind of just around in the sea kind of being pushed by the waves one direction or another, right? You're being told that this is definitely the thing, and that's definitely the thing, and from my perspective on this, alright, it's why you'll never hear me say that my training is the ultimate thing and why I work so hard to push against there being an idea of an ultimate thing, me and others, by the way.

(14:20)
And it's because I feel it's so unjust. I feel it's so wrong to be taking people who are already dealing with this additional burden, this additional fatigue, this additional cognitive load every single day and then saying, here you go. I've prepackaged this course that will make you sound and look and act a certain way. Well, look, we can't really change sometimes, but we really do have this massive problem that is a centuries if not millennia old problem inside of the language world where people sell not just horses, but they sell you on an idea that unfortunately doesn't exist. They tell you that if you do this, all your problems will be resolved. They don't say it exactly like that, but that's essentially what's going on. So I want to use these episodes not only as a way for you to hear what I have to say and what I personally believe, but I also want to use them as a way to recommend things or to give you a little bit of a taste of what I work through with my clients, because I know that so many more people are dealing with these same challenges.

(15:37)
So speaking of the challenges, all right, we've covered that. Let's talk about what you can do about it. That's the thing we want. So if you understand that there is no ultimate thing, but that you can make small steps, you can do small shifts that can help. Let's talk about those. How do you reduce this burnout or this fatigue and exhaustion? How can you increase your clarity and preserve your energy? So here are just a couple things. This is not a full workshop that I'm giving, right? But it's a podcast episode. I'm just giving a couple of tips to help you feel less drained. So number one, and I think this is my number one always for anything, is that you prioritize self-awareness. Start by being aware of where the energy drain is coming from. This is a question I ask my clients and trainees immediately.

(16:38)
I don't just assume. I always ask them to clarify for me the specifics around what they feel and what they experience. So you're tired, okay? And and how are you struggling or feeling most of the weight? Is it in meetings? Is it in association with other coworkers? Is it every time your boss comes over? Is it because it was a new situation? Is it in emails? Because written communication, while different is absolutely a whole other world of pressure, are emails leaving you mentally exhausted? Okay? Because once you identify the source or sources, you can start to find patterns. And that's really what I encourage everyone to do first, observe your own personal situation, gather a little bit of information, take down notes and start looking afterwards where some pieces are connecting. So for instance, if I asked you directly, you might say, oh yeah, I have no problem with anyone on my team.

(17:50)
It's great. We get along fantastic. I like my boss. We have a great working environment, right? Great cadence, great team dynamic. But if we then do a small evaluation, not to judge but to observe, let's just go through and see in which circumstances you are feeling like it's additionally exhausting. So we make a list. We go through a few different scenarios. I ask, if you're working with me, I ask you more clarifying questions just to get deep down into it. And at the end of all that we realize interesting. It's every single time you are being asked by your boss to take lead on a new project. And it doesn't mean that we get there right away. So we have to do a lot of that initial work to take down all, all those different data points and then we have to connect them together.

(18:47)
But I'll be honest, this is something that while we do an exercise like this, my clients see this oftentimes before I even say it, because as we're doing it, they're able to piece together all of the different moments. They have felt this. And that's really all it is. It's not to say that you aren't able to understand the different sources of where exhaustion is coming from. And it's not to say that it's just because it's English or whatever language. It's to say, let's take a moment and let's do this together. Let's figure out in what places this is coming out. And then once we start seeing those patterns, we start to kind of infer how we can interpret them. And we might say, huh? So if it's with your boss and it's a new, so variables are your boss, new project leading, how are those three pieces going together?

(19:45)
How are those three variables connected? Why might those three variables be that formula that adds that additional burden and exhaustion? And by the way, that is always an open-ended question that I will ask. I do not interpret for my clients. I ask them to figure it out for themselves because they are the only ones inside of their heads, their lives, and they are not expected to give me any correct answer. There's no correct answer, right? Only the one that makes sense for them. So with these three pieces of information, one might say, oh, it's because I actually am really shy when it comes to leading things. Oh, I totally didn't realize that was the reason. I have no problems taking on responsibility, but when you ask me to lead, I now see that it's an additional pressure. Another person might say, oh, it's because I want my boss to feel like I'm doing a really good job because I want a promotion next year, and I'm really worried that if I don't do these projects well, my boss will see me differently and we have a really good relationship right now and I don't want to mess that up.(20:55)Do you see how depending on the person, the interpretation or the reason behind all of this can be different and why it's very dangerous to just assume that because these three variables are present, that they're connected in a certain narrative. Once you identify what your sources are, you can start to tackle them directly. So just remember, you don't need to be perfect. You don't need to find the ultimate pattern. Please, anytime the word ultimate comes up, please just ignore it or please just block it somehow have my voice as a reminder. There is no ultimate anything. Work to prioritize self-awareness. Introspection really is what it is. So you can start to become conscious of moments where you feel most drained and you can start to understand your own patterns better. And then if you're working with somebody, for instance, if you're working with me, we can dialogue, we can discuss, we can then take it and make, I would make individual training exercises specific for that

(22:06)
It starts with you though. It starts with you being able to dig deep and see what's there. Don't blame yourself. Don't judge. Okay, introspect, observe and interpret. All right? Number two, be intentional with your language. Intentionality is very different from perfection. So instead of aiming for perfect language, which can be really, really exhausting, again, especially if you feel like you have to play a role or act a part when you go to work, focus on clarity and impact that is aligned with you. And this should be clear, right? There's a different feeling when we try to act like we are trying to match an external model of something versus intentionally choosing something from inside that doesn't feel the same. So don't overcomplicate things. I will remind everyone that there's a lot of unlearning that needs to be done, especially if you were educated inside of a system that told you that the more formal and professional and advanced you sound in your vocabulary or the complexity of your sentence structures that will somehow get you farther in the working world.

(23:25)
It does not. It doesn't mean that you can't be very eloquent, but if you are being overly complicated, you are actually obstructing the clarity inside of communication. So you don't need a long list of fancy vocabulary and be very careful about all those good, bad lists. I'm not alone in saying this, by the way. A lot of people who know what they're doing are reminding everyone of this, be very, very careful of good or bad or better or whatever types of lists are online in the battle between overcomplicated complex and unclear. I would prefer simple, clear, and natural feeling sentences and speech. You would be amazed how much this will relieve the pressure and therefore the fatigue around your expression when you start to find ways that don't feel like you need to match something. Because the goal is to communicate effectively and trying to just throw in a bunch of advanced language really is not only not impressive, but in many situations it can kind of read to your detriment, meaning someone might think you're actually trying to show off because you're going out of your way, literally away from who you are out of your normal and natural self to go and sound really fancy.

(25:11)
We are no longer in the 16th century. Let me remind you, okay, we are no longer even in the 17th, 18th, 19, any of the previous centuries. Where are we? We are currently, I'm recording this in 2025. We are in a world that has changed a lot. Be very mindful of that. Doesn't mean you make your boss your best friend. Doesn't mean that basic rules of professionalism and conduct don't exist, but be very, very, very intentional in how you're using language so that you can disconnect from this feeling of heaviness. The last thing I would recommend, these are three really, really small shifts to be honest, but they are very powerful if you can manage to find how to do them for yourself. The last thing is to create spaces for open dialogue. So what does that mean? Okay. First, it means you need to find people who can have open dialogue with you, and that is not always inside the workplace.

(26:18)
Just remember that your coworkers may be nice, but they might not be the right people for this. You can go online to find different types of conversation or support groups even. Maybe you can even start your own. I've given that advice countless times because what better way to ensure quality control than to create something yourself? But you need to have spaces where you can talk about this type of stuff because what you're going through is not a universal experience. It doesn't mean it doesn't happen, right? So non-native speakers of all languages might feel this common thread, but it means how you're going to handle it specific to you, your working language, your circumstances. You need to find your people. You need to find your safe space, your open dialogue space, the space that I'm talking about, it might be a group, it might be a couple of just close friends who can get what you mean, but a space where it's okay to be unsure or ask questions or just talk about things like this without feeling like you're going to crumble under the judgment.

(27:42)
I don't mean that everyone needs to, for instance, go to therapy. Therapy is very specific for how and when it's used. But the idea that model of having a support group around you, that doesn't mean that you are flawed or weak, okay? I want you to really understand that. So much of us now I think need to unlearn what we were taught early on. I mean, this is me too. Okay? So in a future episode, I will talk about my own journey inside of languages and learning and identity and all that. But for instance, when I work with clients, that's actually one of their safe spaces. It doesn't have to only be one. You can have this in many different ways, but there are little bit of time with me is for training. Sure. But it's also a place that they know they can express.

(28:40)
They know that they can come to me and speak really openly, authentically without needing to feel like I'm going to judge them. Finding this space is not about complaining or venting or ranting. Sometimes it can be, right? It's about having a healthy outlet for all the stress that you carry. Many people might say, oh yeah, I follow a lot of influencers or YouTube channels or other people who make funny content and it's so relatable. Great, but where are you able to pour back? Where are you able to, oh man, I want to say a French expression. So there's this French expression that I really love, which it doesn't work well in English, I don't think, but if you translate directly, it's kind of like emptying your bag. Imagine that we all have this massive, I don't know, it's like a bag of something very, very heavy.

(29:46)
Okay, I want to say potatoes, but we're not carrying potatoes. But just imagine that you are needing to carry this around with you all the time, and that is so heavy and that is so real. You were given this bag to carry because of the circumstances, but we don't need to say, oh, poor you. Oh, I can't believe you have to carry this. What you need to do is learn how to be able to put it down sometimes to empty it, to just leave whatever is inside of it in a place where it won't come back to hurt you, right? Find healthy places. Find healthy people who can talk about this stuff with you. Not to give you a clear solution sometimes, but just to listen. I think it's one of the most powerful and most useful things, especially when we think about how many people who are carrying this burden and fatigued by this type of life every single day can feel so disconnected from themselves and their own humanity at times.

(30:51):
This type of exercise, this type of activity can be so, so beneficial. So in closing, communication fatigue is real and it affects so many more people than we often realize, especially in the workplace, but also out in the world. Future episodes will touch on the role of native speakers and the massive amount of work that's needed to enter into true partnership across languages, spaces, cultures, identities, et cetera. But just remember that if you're listening to this, operating in a different language can often feel like an ongoing mental workout. But the good news is that it does not have to drain you to the bone every single day. Doesn't mean it won't be tiring, but it can be a little bit better if you become more intentional. If you create space for clarity, if you reduce the pressure to act or to match an external model, you can start shifting the energy that you're needing to leak out every day and start to call it back, to bring it back, to feel more in control of how you show up.

(32:07):
So give yourself some credit for the incredible, amazing, invisible work that you do every single day. But don't forget that there are small things that you can do when things get too heavy. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of We Cultivate the Pod. If this episode resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and be sure to share it with someone who might benefit. I'm Michelle, founder of We Cultivate, host of We Cultivate the Pod, and I will be back next time with more insights on language communication and navigating your professional journey as a non-native speaker. Take care of yourselves and do write me a message or email. If you enjoyed this episode, I would love to hear what you have to say.

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